Me? Well… my main life focus is on relationships.

toxic vs mature

Those relationships , childhood, friends , romantic — all disturbed my creations but also the creation was my ONLY help and the way to keep my head over the sea and not become completed mad and not get addicted to anything…really

So the whole first part of my life — art has the therapeutic role,

no successes and no determination from me, no believe in myself, and no people believing in me.

And no even encouraging me to do art, writing, cause my family did not had such traditions , I was the first to even go to university

no support here

NONE

The other thing is that — writing is a broad term.

what writing? what art? what music?

I am well talented in music , but was not well trained from childhood, and had no determination for musical achievements,

music just accompanies my poems, or makes me feel better – so it s therapeutic.

So there it is , elements of me, my life creation :

*writing poems, novels and practical guides , books with knowledge

*making music, playing the instrument, creating music, singing

*learning without end and teaching — SO KNOWLEDGE , passing on the knowledge

Only those 3 things make a whole

I undestood it 3 years ago.

None of those could lead me to the success separately even though I tried hard.

There is also a fourth element — media, technology. I am meant to do all thru online media, technology, internet, do all graphics by myselfs , publish on amazon etc …

This also I undestood only with the last vedic astrology analysis

And there is the fith element — like the true fifth element – the most important —

THE HUSBAND, A GOOD RELATIONSHIP , EMOTIONAL AND FINANCIAL SUPPORT, BELIEF, LOVE

It s necessary — for achieving the end of my life road, my dharma , to have the balanced relationship after all I ve learned from toxic and after working on myself

It is necessary – cause with two kids — I can not do any real important demanding work, art work, writing work or scientific , knowledge work.

I could only work somewhere as a teacher and live with my parents

which is so pathetic that it makes me want to commit a suicide immediately.

Also.. since I have already 2 kids and I take care of them as a single mother, there is no time for a job such as a teacher job AND creating my project, art etc… I tried to do it a few years back and it finished with my complete burnout, disease and finally I sold my appart and went back to parents house to live from poor government money, survive, take care of kids and prepare my project.. but … well…only angels assure me I WILL succeed and the love WILL COME .

one day…..

And last .. but not least — Poland. here the energy is blocked. period. end of story.

I need to emigrate. I tried many times. I know there is nothing for me here. But if destiny will not fulfill itself – i ll die here in poverty and bitterness heh… like many before me

Voila

That s me